


Jack Sr. + Wrist Cuff

by NatalieRyan



Series: Wunderkind related stories [4]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016), Wunderkind (MacGyver TV 2016 Fanfiction)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Jack Angst, Missing Scene, Past Attempted Suicide, comforting mac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: Jack accepted the wrist cuff from Mac and he went to clasp it around his wrist, but the red, raised line, in stark contrast against the pale skin of his wrist, it was the reminder why Jack wore the cuff. And why that patch of skin wasn't as tan as the rest of his arm was…Jack could feel eyes on him and when he looked up at Mac, he saw that Mac's eyes were on his wrist. And he also realized that Mac never saw the scar there.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Wunderkind related stories [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980883
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	Jack Sr. + Wrist Cuff

**Author's Note:**

  * For [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts).



> This story was such a rollercoaster.   
> I got the idea in the middle of reading WK 3x01 and when I shared it with thistle, I made nothing of it, it was just an idea.   
> Several hours later I was writing this and let me tell you it was so emotionally draining, but finally, I knew where to put a thought I had for a while... sort of a headcanon for Jack.   
> So, if you reached this far and you are about to proceed with reading, if the tags and summary weren't enough of a warning, there is a HUGE TRIGGER WARNING for this fic right here:   
> Mainly the headcanon I had was that Jack attempted suicide at one point in his life and that was one of my explanations about the wrist cuff. There's more of an explanation about what led to Jack's attempt in the fic and him telling Mac about this, as well as Mac sharing some of his thoughts while being held captive.   
> One last warning!!! Proceed at your own caution.   
> The part with the wrist cuff was inspired by Thistle's book, Magic & Silver.   
> And now, on to the fic.  
> Inspired by   
> [WK 3x01](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20891921/chapters/49660967)

***several weeks later***

It takes all his willpower not to go back to the room he just vacated. He promised Riley and Mac that he'll take a break. It was nonnegotiable. Mac went so far as to tell him to go and take a good sleep. That Mac wasn't going to vanish again. He promised. 

Jac tried to swallow his tears at the promise his kid made. A promise he could have months ago when Mac dashed out of Medical to find and bring James to justice… and then this happened. 

Jack forced himself to leave Phoenix. He was going to do as his kids asked. He was going to take care of himself. 

Well, he was going to try. 

It's been almost four months now since he had a decent sleep that wasn't a cat nap or riddled with nightmares. They were different every time, and Jack was scared he'd have to ask to be medicated for them. He didn't want to scare anyone by how violent they were getting. 

Jack got to his car and drove off before he changed his mind. He showered and dressed in clean clothes. He has to admit that it feels nice. He sees the dog tags on the nightstand, next to his lamp. He left them there, after Murdoc sent them to him. He didn't want to lose them while he was away on the hunt, and now they are mocking him from their resting place. 

Jack pocketed them, reaching for the cigar box and touching those of his father. Then he gets an idea and he is off, outta the door before he could stop himself. 

…

He knows how long it takes from where he usually parks to where his father's grave is located. He counted the number of steps it took, when he was in such a bad headspace that he focused on everything just to not succumb to the darkness. 

He knows which part of the path is chipped and where it has made way to the tiles they had put three years ago. 

There's a few people milling around, visiting the other graves. Who knows, maybe they are like him. Seeking for peace and solace. Knowing that the person on the other side is a good listener, that they won't judge or try to reassure them or anything of the likes. 

Jack slowly sits on the ground, settling against the stone wall behind him. He breathes a sigh of relief? He doesn't know if it's relief or he just needed to breathe. The phone in his pocket buzzes, but it's not a phone call, otherwise it would have blared. Anyone knows that if they need to reach him if something urgent comes up, they need to call. He still has a strong reaction to opening messages. The picture of Mac that Murdoc sent to him still haunts his dreams. 

Jack leaned his head back against the cool stones and closed his eyes. He didn't know why he came here, no words came out of his mouth. 

He came here often when he was back in LA from his search. His dad already heard everything that Jack had to say, he was there when Jack cried, screamed, blamed himself, or just sat there, seeking strength to not give up. But ever since Mac was found, Jack didn't come here. 

Jack still felt guilty, still had nightmares. He just didn't let on. His kids didn't need that on top of everything. It was enough that they tried to help Mac back to his feet. 

Jack felt a tear slide down his face and reached to wipe it when something touched his hand. 

He was always on high alert, but somehow the person next to him slipped his defences. 

When Jack opened his eyes he saw that it was Mac sitting next to him. Jack immediately tried to get up, but Mac stopped him with his hand on Jack's forearm. It was telling how not okay Jack was that he let Mac stop him in his tracks. 

“I know what you are going to say, and before you do, Riley drove me here and I got permission from the doc to take a walk. I may have omitted the facts that I won't get a walk in the park…” 

Jack chuckled. Even after all that happened, the hell his kid went through, he still worried about Jack. 

There was something soft touching his hand and Jack saw it was the wrist cuff. 

“Oh, thank you, kiddo.” 

“You were touching it a lot in your sleep last night. It must have come out during the night. I found it on the floor when you left. I just wanted to give it to you.” 

“You had Ri to trace my phone?” Jack was smiling now, his kid was trying hard to mask the real reason why he came to find Jack. 

“Yeah. She sent you a message, but when you didn't reply…” Mac shrugged. 

Jack sighed. He didn't know if Mac knew about Murdoc and his taunting messages. From what little Mac shared, Jack learned that the creep told Mac that no one was looking for him, Jack doubted that Murdoc told him about the pictures and messages. 

And Jack didn't know if he should tell Mac or no.

“He… he sent me a picture of you, after you called me the first time. Ever since then, I can't bring myself to look at my messages right away. It's stupid, I know. It could be something important, and I-” 

“It's okay, Jack.” 

Mac was still too thin, face gaunt and a haunted look in his blue eyes. But he looked like he was determined to prove Jack wrong, that it was okay to ignore the messages. Despite them meaning life or death. 

“I'm sorry.” 

“Yeah… I'm sorry, too.” 

Jack had a feeling they both apologized for more than what they talked about just now, but he let it slide. He was actually starting to feel lighter. It had been a long time since he visited his father together with Mac. And Jack tried to make the most of it. 

Jack wanted to tell his dad that he got his kid back, but the truth was so much more complicated. 

Jack accepted the wrist cuff from Mac and he went to clasp it around his wrist, but the red, raised line, in stark contrast against the pale skin of his wrist, it was the reminder why Jack wore the cuff. And why that patch of skin wasn't as tan as the rest of his arm was… 

Jack could feel eyes on him and when he looked up at Mac, he saw that Mac's eyes were on his wrist. And he also realized that Mac never saw the scar there. 

“It was after my second tour before the CIA stint. I was in a very bad place. First tour went by somehow, but the second one was brutal. I had to make decisions I am not proud of, and I killed people… I, I turned into the machine they wanted me to be. I locked on my emotions, I was ruthless. And then things went belly up. 

“I can't share much more than the bare minimum, because it's classified, and you don't have the clearance-” and also because Jack wasn't sure he'd be able to repeat the story to someone else other than his pops “- and one thing led to another. Believe it or not I am better with my left when I handle a knife.” 

As if he had to explain why the scar was on his right wrist. Everyone always assumed you used your dominant hand to cut yourself or do whatever. It was bullshit. 

“I'm sorry, Jack.” 

“I'm sorry, too. I… it was too much. I was messed up and I couldn't find a meaning, to hold on to something to stay, you know? I didn't want to die, but I also didn't want the voices in my head to scream at me non-stop. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to not think. So I took my… I took my knife and here we are.” 

Jack could go on about how it was his father who found him, in the bathroom, fresh off the shower, and how he wrapped his wrist and dried Jack off, then dressed him and drove him to Dallas and to a hospital. Jack expected to be yelled at, and punched, and to be monitored for another attempt. But his dad lied that he was the one who accidentally cut Jack, claiming his old age and shaky hands. 

Jack was surprised at how easily his dad lied. 

And then when they were home, and the punch still didn't come, Jack knew that his dad was going to chew him off. 

Instead, he got a hug and his dad told him a story. About himself and the war he fought in, and told Jack that he would understand if Jack needed to numb the pain. But that the next time he tried something stupid, he'd kill Jack himself. And then made Jack to promise him that Meg wouldn't know of this. 

His Pops bought him the cuff and after the skin healed, Jack started wearing it. And Jack knew that his dad didn't get it for him to hide the scar or because he was ashamed of his son, but Jack Senior gave it to Jack because it was something he wanted his son to remind him that it wasn't him that did it to himself; but rather a part of Jack that thought that was the only way out. 

Jack had a lot of wrist cuffs over the years, but the one his father gave to him was in the cigar box together with his dog tags and some other important stuff Jack kept there. It had a meaning, and something he and his father shared. 

His dad gave him hope that day, and made it possible for Jack to find the good in himself. He did have close calls after the Army, both in the CIA and the DXS now Phoenix. Maybe even more since Mac was with them, but Jack never let himself to even think of giving up. He always found a way out from the darkness in his mind. Mac was often the person giving him the rope to pull himself up. 

“I thought about ending it, too. In the cellar where he kept me, I found a stone. It was sharp enough that it was going to do the job. But I had to hold on. I knew you would come. That you will find me. You always do. I knew you'd never give up.” 

“Never, you hear me. Never? As long as I live and breathe, whatever happens.” 

“I know.” 

Mac tentatively reached for Jack's hand and intertwined their fingers. Jack squeezed back and he felt better than he had in months, a weight he didn't know he carried on his shoulders being lifted. He could breathe now.

“I am glad you didn't give up, Jack.” Mac said, touching Jack's scar before he took the cuff from Jack and clasped it himself. “I'm glad you are here.” 

Jack knew that Mac understood. Maybe it wasn't the same situation, but it was close. They both carried the ghosts of their pasts inside, and the visible reminders as well. 

“Was this the reason why you got into tattoos?”

“No, actually that was something else entirely. But now that you mention it, I never thought to see if I could get something done on my wrist.” 

“Maybe you could?” Mac cleared his throat. “Maybe we both can? I want to take you on that offer.” 

“You want to get inked?” 

Mac nodded. There was a determination in Mac's voice and on his face. And Jack understood why Mac wanted to get tattoos done on him. The scars that Murdoc left him with must have been an awful reminder. 

“As soon as you get back on your feet, and you feel better, I'll call my guy. Okay?” 

Mac seemed to think about it. 

“Okay.” 

Mac still held Jack's hand, and Jack didn't dare let go. 

“I was afraid you got hurt on your way to the apartment. I know that I have been less than pleasant lately. I screamed at you for stupid things.” 

“I know that. And it's okay. I'm sorry I worried you. But it was either listen to you, or face the wrath of my kids. You may be adults, but when you gang up on your old man, you are like a pair of teenagers.” 

Mac snorted and then slid closer to Jack. 

“I need you more than I probably let on.” 

“Aww, kiddo.” 

“It's the truth. I need you, Jack. And I know this is hitting you as well. You don't want me to see, but you are hurting. And it's okay to tell me. I won't break.” 

Jack felt hot tears on his face. He thought he had a better grip on his emotions. 

“It's okay, Jack. I'm home now. You got me back.” 

It was probably a long way until Jack felt like he wasn't at fault for what happened, but Mac was pulling him in a hug and Jack let himself be held by his kid. Just this once he could let his guard down. Let his kid hold him. Keep him together. 

“We are going to be okay Jack.” Mac whispered and it made Jack hold tighter and cry harder. 

Shaking through the sadness and sorrow, Jack squeezed Mac's hand, the point where they were connected, and not letting go. A reminder that they survived. That they got out of it stronger. 

Come what may, they had each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
